Monday, October 13, 2014

I'm Not an Athlete. (and 19 days to go!)

I'm not an athlete. I'm not a triathlete either. I never have been and never will be.
It started when I was about 6 or 7... I played t-ball. I had the cutest little red white and blue outfit with those fun little sock stirrup things. Boy was I excited! Well, up until I had to actually play some ball. I was more interested in the flowers and grass than whatever might have been happening in that t-ball game. I got a trophy, and of course loved it but...I'm pretty sure everyone got a trophy regardless if you came in First place...or dead last.

Move forward ... 10-15 years ... Yeah. You know when you get to high school and have to have some sort of physical education in order to graduate??? Yeah, I took P.E. and tried my best to sit out as often as I could. I remember just cringing that day we had to run a mile. I hated it with a passion and was probably one of the last to finish my mile.  I then went into athletic training. Much more my style. Didn't have to run, got to play nurse to the cute football players. All was right in the world!

Let's move ahead to present day. (We'll a few years ago...)

When Denver was diagnosed with NF. Although I knew it was coming...that very day I signed up to run in a half marathon with The Children's Tumor Foundation. Why on this beautiful earth God created would I do such a ridiculous thing? I mean, CERTAINLY there is something out there OTHER than running I could do to raise awareness and funds. SOMETHING other than the thing I despise  most in this world. I chose running. What was I thinking?

Honestly...easiest choice I've ever made. Because it was for Denver.

Jason and I have made it through 7 half marathons together and nearly $45,000 for the Children's Tumor Foundation. Since 2008 We've ran in Phoenix, San Antonio, Dallas and Disney. We've had fundraiser after fundraiser and have done awesome! We have trained 7 different times and ran through 7 different finish lines.

None of that can compare to what we're doing now.

IRONMAN training is like nothing I've ever been through. This is flat out the most difficult, trying, strenuous, demanding, emotional and powerful time in my life. It has tested my limits to no end. I have cried more in the last couple of months than I have in the last few years.... I have wanted to quit too many times to count.

Before all of this craziness started almost a year ago, I was not an athlete. Period. Sure, I ran some half marathons. But just barely made it through those.
The furthest I had ever rode my bike was about 6 miles....Once a year on vacation. That's it.
The most you would see me swimming would be floating in a pool while my kids splash around. I had NEVER ever consider swimming as a sport or hobby - and I most definitely would never swim in the ocean.
I knew absolutely nothing about nutrition. When I ran my halves, I had 0% nutrition. I drank a cup of water here and there on the course and that was it. (I felt like poo for days after...)

My oh my, how things have changed. I have learned so much about my limits, about passion and about what total physical and mental exhaustion feels like. I've learned about what strength I have and what strength I don't have. I've learned that no matter what, the love for your child will power over ANYTHING.

I'm struggling terribly believing that I can do this. My mind is fighting my body and telling me this is out of my reach. Telling me to give up and throw in the towel. It would be so easy to call it quits and just be happy with how far I've come. It would be so easy to just give up after 6 months of hard training, long weekends away from my kids and even longer weeks of constant workouts. There are so many lazy weekends at home with the family missed. and too many to list missed girls night out and missed date nights.

 It would be sooooooo easy to give up, because the hardest part about this is to keep pushing on.

But, instead... I keep going. I don't give up.

Easiest decision I've made since 2008 when this whole journey began.

You know what makes it so easy?

This guy....

Never. Give. Up.
Easiest. Decision. Ever.
We're doing this thing in 19 days!!!

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